Holy Matrimony is a sacrament of the church and is taken very seriously by the Episcopal Church. The relationship of marriage is supported and enhanced by worship and the worshiping community. Couples are expected to attend worship regularly at Trinity for at least six months before asking to meet with the Rector regarding Holy Matrimony. Marriage at Trinity has to do with the sacrament itself and the couple’s desire to receive the sacrament in the context of the worshiping community. While we love the idea that baptism at Trinity, childhood attendance, or attendance of friends and relatives at Trinity may be the reason for seeking Trinity for a wedding, the standards outlined must still be followed. The final decision of whether or not the couple will be married here is in the hands of the Rector of Trinity Church.

At Trinity Church we believe that the service of Holy Matrimony is an important event.  It is one of the most meaningful times in the lives of the bride, the groom and their families and friends. The following information is provided so that we can give every possible assurance that the ceremony will be a blessed occasion for all.

The guiding rule for planning a marriage is that it is first and foremost a worship service praising God and what God has given us.

A preliminary meeting with the priest is required before any dates are set or announced.  The Rector sets the date after s/he determines whether or not s/he can perform the ceremony.

There will be no weddings performed during Lent unless there are exceptional circumstances.  There will also be no weddings performed in the weeks immediately preceding or following a major church Holy Day such as Pentecost, Trinity Sunday, and Christmas.

If the couple to be married wishes the participation of a minister who is not on the staff at Trinity Church, that couple should first contact the Rector of Trinity Church and discuss the matter with him or her fully.

The church facilities are available to the active members of Trinity Church without charge. There are fees charged for the Music Director, the custodian/sexton, and for security and other building matters. These fees are detailed in the attachment.

It is not the policy of the Episcopal Church to forbid remarriage after divorce. However, it is the policy of the Episcopal Church that before a priest may officiate at a wedding of one or more persons who are divorced, the Bishop of that priest's diocese must give his/her consent. It usually takes one to two months to receive this permission. Only when the priest is satisfied that the second marriage has the potential for achieving what was not possible in the first marriage and with the consent of the Bishop, may he or she proceed with the wedding.

Marriage is an important step in life and the Church takes that step very seriously. The Church requires that the couple should be instructed in the sacramental nature of marriage. The rector of Trinity Church requires at least three counseling sessions with the couple prior to the marriage ceremony. Additional counseling sessions may be required and a session to plan the actual wedding will take place only after the pre-marital counseling is completed.

Please deliver the State of Kentucky marriage license to the officiating priest at the rehearsal so that s/he may complete the records.

The sanctuary is the portion of the church served only by the clergy and the acolytes, with the altar as the focal point.  The Altar Guild is responsible for the care of this area. The bride supplies the flowers for her wedding. Trinity Episcopal Church is a beautiful setting for worship.  Flower arrangements should be simple.  Spectacular displays distract from the importance of worship and are not permitted. A maximum of four floral arrangements are permitted at the wedding service, provided that they are compatible with those usually used on Sunday morning: one arrangement on either side of the candelabra at the high altar, one in front of the free-standing altar (optional if desired), and one in front of the pulpit or lectern (also optional). Only live floral arrangements are permitted and no ribbons, cards, or messages should be attached. If the florist delivers arrangements with ribbons, cards, or messages, those items will be removed. There are size restrictions for arrangements due to worship space. The couple is responsible for discussing the restrictions with the florist. The florist should call the church office one week in advance of the wedding to schedule a delivery date and time for the flowers.

No tacks, pins, nails, glue or tape may be used to fasten any decorations to the furniture or to the building.  Nothing should be attached to the pews except to designate family seating. No aisle runners are allowed.

Flower girls may carry baskets of flowers or bouquets but no scattering of petals, rice, birdseed, or anything else is allowed either inside or outside the church.

Only dripless candles must be used. (Contact the church office for information about the brand/type and where to purchase.)  Care must be taken to protect carpeting and furniture near the candles. The number and location of candles is determined by that which is typically provided in a Sunday morning service or on festive occasions.

It is expected the floral arrangements on the altar will be left in the church for use at the next worship service. All other decorations and candles must be removed from the church immediately after the marriage service.

No decorations are allowed on doors or handrails to the church entrances. A trained Altar Guild member from Trinity Church will direct the appropriate placement of arrangements in the church.  Unity candles, brides and grooms giving parents a rose, or other rituals not listed in The Book of Common Prayer are not permitted during the service of worship.

It is expected that the Music Director at Trinity Church will play at all weddings held at Trinity unless other arrangements have been made with the Music Director and approved by the Rector.  The sacrament of Holy Matrimony is a worship service and the Rector is the final authority in the administration of matters pertaining to music. Appropriate music from the many approved resources of the Episcopal Church may be selected with the consultation of the Music Director and Rector. Secular music may not be used, nor may contemporary or popular Christian music. This includes love songs, show tunes, popular music, music composed for secular occasions, and music composed by friends or relatives. The Music Director or the Rector will advise you as to the music suitable to church weddings.

It is your responsibility to be in touch with the Music Director at least two months in advance of your wedding.  Any musicians who will participate in the service must be present at the rehearsal.  Music selection is made in conference with the Music Director or you may leave the choice of music to the discretion of the Music Director.  The wedding music may include: pre-service recital; processional; recessional; instrumental and congregational singing.  The singing of hymns by the congregation is an excellent way of helping those assembled share in praise and thanksgiving during the worship service and the sacrament of Holy Matrimony. Congregational hymn singing during weddings is an ancient and honored Christian tradition. This is optional.

Music Director's Fee:  It is expected that the Music Director will be paid for her/his services at the rehearsal. Fees are listed below.

Service Sheets: If the couple desires an order of service bulletin, all information must be to the parish office two weeks prior to the wedding so it may be checked for accuracy.  It is the responsibility of the couple to have the service bulletin printed and the copies delivered to the church at least one week prior to the wedding.

The officiating priest, after discussion with the bride and groom, will set the time for the rehearsal. Rehearsal usually takes 45 minutes to one hour.  The length of time will be determined by the size of the wedding party itself.  Please urge all members of the wedding party to be present and on time so that we may begin and finish during the allotted time period. The Rector is in charge of the rehearsal.

All members of the wedding party, including the bride and groom, must be sober. If anyone appears intoxicated, or to have taken mind-altering drugs, the wedding will not proceed.

No pictures may taken in the nave during the worship service.  Ushers are instructed to inform the guests of this policy as the guests are seated. Your photographer may take pictures from the back of the church prior to the beginning of the procession. Once the procession begins, no pictures are permitted during the service. The service ends when the bridal party has exited from the church.  If you desire re-posing pictures, you are urged to take the pictures quickly. Out of respect and courtesy for others, the photo session after the wedding is limited to 30 minutes only.

Any photos that include the priest should be taken at the beginning of the photo session.  One video camcorder is permitted in a fixed location in the church. To prevent embarrassment or misunderstanding, please inform both amateur and professional photographers of the above guidelines.

The parish hall is available for wedding receptions.  It is expected that caterers will furnish all linens and serving pieces.  Caterers are responsible for removing their material immediately following the reception.  The kitchen should be left in the condition in which you found it.  Wine and beer may be served at the reception provided soft drinks or other non- alcoholic alternate drinks are available and displayed in the same manner as the alcoholic beverages. Beer should be served in cans or bottles. No kegs are allowed.  Other alcoholic beverages are prohibited.  To serve wine or beer at the reception, you must present proof of liability.  The proof of liability must be on file in the church office 2 weeks prior to the wedding. Check with your caterer or insurance company.

All of the arrangements for the reception should be cleared with the parish secretary.

The wedding party has full responsibility for restoring the church and the May Room to the same condition in which it was prior to the wedding. This includes any rooms used for dressing or storing items prior to, during, or immediately after the rehearsal or wedding.

Please contact the parish secretary concerning rooms that may be used by the bride and attendants for dressing. Bridal consultants are welcome to assist the bridal party only in the room assigned for dressing.  If you have retained the services of a wedding consultant, they will need to contact the Rector two weeks prior to the date of the wedding.

The priest shall be responsible for conducting all phases of the wedding rehearsal and the wedding service.  In case of conflict between the recommendations of a bridal consultant and the priest, the priest has the final authority.

All facilities of the church are under the supervision of the Rector.  The priest shall be responsible for coordinating the date and time for the wedding rehearsal, wedding service and the reception, if the May Room is to be used.

Music Director:

$250 for solo organ work. Additional fees will apply for working with soloists and other musicians.  The check should be made payable: Dr. John Deaver

$100 for preparing and cleaning the church. An additional $50 may apply if the wedding is later than 5 pm on Saturday.  The check should be made payable: Richard Putthoff

$100 for both. An additional $50 may apply if the wedding is later than 5 pm on Saturday.  The check should be made payable: Judy Long

Please Note: Weddings are part of a Rector or Priest’s ministry. However, a wedding does involve additional pastoral time, planning, and supervisory duties for the staff. A contribution to the Trinity Rector’s Discretionary Fund will help the poor and needy who come to Trinity’s doors.

If you wish to contribute, please make checks payable: Trinity Episcopal Church and mark the memo line of your check: Trinity Rector’s Discretionary Fund

If you have questions pertaining to pre-marital counseling or the service, please feel free to ask the Rector.

Last Updated: December 2011